The Overlooked Art of Just Being

We Are Human Beings, Not Human Doings: Embracing the Power of Just Being

Understanding the Importance of Being

We are human beings, not human doings. This phrase resonates deeply in a world that often equates our worth with our productivity. For many, including myself, this realization took time. It seems simple, yet the journey to simply be can feel overwhelming.

For years, I measured my value by my efforts. My identity was intricately tied to my accomplishments and how much I contributed to others, both at work and in my personal life. I believed that my worth was directly linked to what I could do for others. I was the one who always said yes, stayed late, and took on extra tasks without complaint. I thought if I was indispensable, I would earn love and respect. My survival depended on how much I could give and how well I could keep up with life's demands. If I wasn’t in constant motion, I felt guilty. If I wasn’t producing, fixing, or giving, I felt like a failure.

I didn’t question this belief. I thought it was simply how life operated.

This experience isn’t unique to me; it’s a common narrative in our culture. From a young age, we learn that our value is earned, not inherent. We’re evaluated by our grades, job titles, income, and how much we can give to others. When we aren’t actively accomplishing something, we feel a deep-seated guilt, fearing we are falling behind or aren’t enough. To some degree, we all become human doings.

The Myth of Earning Love

We have been sold a powerful myth: that worthiness is a destination you reach after a long, exhausting journey. Many believe they must earn love and respect through their actions. We tell ourselves, “I’ll be valued at work if I take on this extra project,” or “I’ll be enough if I never say no to a friend’s request.” This frantic need to prove our value by constantly giving drives the human doing. If earned worthiness wasn’t heavy enough, there’s another lie we often swallow: that love itself must be earned.

Somewhere along the way, we learn to believe, “If I give enough, they’ll stay. If I sacrifice enough, I’ll finally be loved.” Initially, it seems to work, as people readily accept everything we give. However, the truth is devastating: love that demands proof, sacrifice, or self-erasure is not love at all.

The finish line never comes into view. Once you give, your mind immediately finds another way to prove your worth. The fear of not being enough never truly dissipates. We constantly move the goalposts, making true satisfaction impossible. Our flaws become evidence of our inadequacy, further fueling the need to do more to compensate.

When you’re always doing, sitting still feels uncomfortable. Almost wrong. I used to fill every quiet moment with something—scrolling, planning, cleaning, working—anything that made me feel like I wasn’t wasting time. Stillness felt lazy.

I remember a time when I was so busy striving to be everything for everyone that I lost touch with my own needs. I ignored the signs of exhaustion and emotional depletion because I believed taking a break meant I was selfish or, worse, a failure to those who relied on me. My mental and physical health began to suffer, yet I pushed through, driven by the fear that if I stopped doing, my value, both professionally and personally, would vanish. I was a human doing on a hamster wheel, running tirelessly but getting nowhere.

It left me burnt out, disconnected, and resentful. I was so busy trying to keep up that I never allowed myself to just exist. To breathe. To enjoy the life I was running myself ragged to maintain.

It’s a trap many of us fall into. We confuse productivity with worthiness. We think love has to be earned through effort. We forget that existing is enough.

The Power of Being

The most radical act in a world that demands constant action is to simply be. This isn’t about being lazy or unproductive. It’s about a fundamental shift in perspective. It’s about recognizing that your value isn’t tied to your output or to what you can do for others. It’s about understanding that your worth is an innate truth you were born with, not a prize you have to win.

For me, this shift began with small, deliberate acts of being. I started by setting boundaries at work, telling my boss, “I can’t take on that extra project right now,” without immediately offering an excuse. I learned to say no and to be okay with the discomfort that followed. I realized my most cherished connections weren’t built on what I did for people, but on the simple act of being present with them. My true value was in my ideas, my perspective, and my authentic self, not just in my ability to execute tasks.

But this journey of just being came at a cost. When I stopped constantly doing, most of the people I thought were my friends and family slowly drifted away. They couldn’t understand why I wasn’t there to solve their problems or why I was suddenly unavailable. The phone calls stopped. The invitations faded. And in those quiet, lonely moments, I was forced to face the most painful truth: they had me in their lives only for what I was constantly doing for them. When I just needed their presence, when I needed them to just be with me, I realized I was asking for too much. They showed me that their love and friendship was conditional.

That loss hurt deeply, but it also clarified something important: the people who stayed valued me for who I was, not what I did.

Human Beings, Not Human Doings

It sounds cliché, but it’s true: we are human beings, not human doings.

When I first heard that phrase, I brushed it off. But the more I sat with it, the more it sank in. We weren’t put here to perform like machines. We were put here to experience. To live, to connect, to feel, to grow.

Doing has its place, of course. We need action. But doing without being, without presence, without connection to ourselves, is empty.

Being is what roots us. It’s what allows us to slow down enough to notice the small joys. It’s what helps us remember who we are beyond our to-do lists, roles, and responsibilities.

A Call to Reclaim Your Life

Learning to just be is an act of reclaiming your life from the endless demands of the outside world, even if it means losing people along the way. It means giving yourself permission to exist without an agenda. It means embracing rest not as a reward for hard work, but as a necessary part of your humanity.

True love finds its truest form in being. A deep connection isn’t built on what you can do for someone; it’s built on the simple act of being with them. It’s in the shared laughter, the silent support, and the genuine acceptance of one another, flaws and all. When we stop trying to earn love and respect, we create the space for it to flourish naturally.

For me, learning to just be has been a practice. It didn’t happen overnight. It started with tiny moments where I gave myself permission to stop. To sit outside and feel the air on my skin without reaching for my phone. To let myself rest without guilt. To notice my breath and remind myself, this is enough.

At first, my mind fought it. The pull to get up and do something was strong. But over time, I began to notice how much calmer and more present I felt in those moments of being.

It wasn’t about escaping responsibility; it was about reconnecting with myself.

Being doesn’t mean we stop doing altogether. It means our doing flows from a place of alignment instead of obligation. It means our actions are rooted in presence instead of performance.

This is the central lesson: you are not a machine. You are a human being, with a capacity for peace, joy, and connection that has nothing to do with how much you give or how much you do for others. Your worth is not a performance. It’s a fact. It’s a scary truth, but it’s one that leads to a freedom you can’t get any other way.

Why This Matters

When we live as human doings, we burn out. We end up feeling unseen, unloved, and unworthy, because we tied all of that to what we could produce.

But when we live as human beings, we allow ourselves to experience love and worthiness in their truest form. Not as something we chase, but as something we already are.

We give ourselves permission to rest. To slow down. To notice the beauty in ordinary moments. We create space for real connection—with ourselves, with others, with life itself.

And maybe the most important part: we finally start to believe that existing is enough.

So, I invite you to take a moment today to simply be. Stop, breathe, and remember this truth: You are already worthy. You are already enough. You always have been.

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Until next time:

With raw truth and steady love,

Lindsay-Michele

www.lindsay-michele.com

@downtherabbithole.lm

I didn’t write this to sound wise. I wrote it because I know how many of us are exhausted from proving our worth through what we can do for everyone else. If you’ve been carrying that same weight, I hope these words remind you that you don’t have to earn your right to exist. You don’t have to hustle for love or keep moving to matter. You are enough, even in the quiet. Especially in the quiet.