When Awareness Becomes the Cage.

Awareness Saved Me… and Then It Trapped Me

When you’re first coming out of abuse, validation feels like oxygen. Every post you see about narcissists, trauma bonds, and red flags hits like a lifeline. You’re not crazy. You’re not alone. What you went through was real.

That’s where the healing starts.

But if you’re not careful, awareness can quietly become the thing that keeps you stuck. I know — because I lived there.

The Loop I Didn’t See Myself In

I wasn’t intentionally looking for more to learn — I was just scrolling. Mindlessly. Aimlessly. Before I knew it, I wasn’t just finding the content; I was feeding off it. My nervous system was drinking the same poison every day, disguised as education.

I told myself it was “research” or “staying informed.” But the truth? I wasn’t moving forward. I was just marinating in the pain.

Each time, I’d get that same hit of validation — someone describing exactly what I’d lived through. The relief of “Oh my god, yes, that’s me.” But it was a quick high followed by the same heaviness.

It’s like scratching a wound because it itches. It feels good for a second, but you’re stopping it from healing.

The Problem With Endless Validation

Endless validation keeps you in the same vibration you’re trying to escape.

It doesn’t matter how much you know about narcissists, trauma responses, or emotional abuse. If you keep feeding your brain only that information, you stay wired to it.

This is the trap survivors don’t see:

• The content is helpful… at first.

• It explains what happened, names the abuse, and connects you with other survivors.

• But without forward movement, it quietly becomes an addiction.

  
  

You start looking for the next post that “gets” you instead of the next step that frees you.

Awareness isn’t bad — but it’s step one, not the destination.

Why I Still Share My Story

I believe in awareness because I know what it’s like to feel alone. My story matters because it reaches people who need to hear that they’re not imagining it. They’re not alone.

But here’s the difference: I don’t tell my story to live in it. I tell it to build a bridge out of it.

And that bridge has to lead somewhere higher; otherwise, I’m just keeping people in the same cage I fought my way out of.

The Part Nobody Likes to Talk About: Accountability

A lot of people never take accountability for their role in their own story. I’m not talking about blaming yourself for what someone else did — abuse is never your fault.

I’m talking about owning the places you abandoned yourself.

For me, there were moments where I knew I should leave. Moments when I was still strong enough mentally to walk away. But I stayed. I ignored my gut. I convinced myself I could handle it. I let unhealed trauma make my decisions for me.

Yes, eventually, the abuse broke me down so far that I was only surviving. But I also have to acknowledge that there were points where I could have chosen differently… and I didn’t.

That’s my truth. It’s not a comfortable truth, but it’s the one that set me free.

Why Accountability is Freedom

Blame traps you in the past. Accountability frees you to create your future.

When I own my part, I’m not saying, “It was my fault.” I’m saying, “I see where I abandoned myself, and I will never do it again.”

That’s where my power is. That’s how I rise.

Accountability is a form of self-respect. It’s saying, “I can’t change what was done to me, but I will damn sure change what I do from here on out.”

My Goal Moving Forward

My goal is still to share my story and spread awareness because the message is too important to ever go silent. Survivors need to know they’re not alone, and they need someone to put words to the experiences they can’t explain yet.

But I also want to shine a light on the part most people don’t talk about — the way so many survivors find themselves stuck in the same loop I was in. The constant search for content that validates what they went through, without realizing that it’s quietly keeping them in the vibration of it.

I want to be the voice that says, “Yes, your pain is real… but you’re not meant to live there forever.” Awareness matters. But so does movement. And I believe we can have both.

Where I Stand Now

I’m not here to live in my past — and I’m not here to drag other survivors through theirs over and over.

I’m here to speak the truth about what happened, to give it a name, and to make sure no one feels like they’re the only one going through it. But I’m also here to tell you that you don’t have to stay there.

There’s a point where awareness stops being the thing that saves you and starts being the thing that keeps you stuck. I lived in that place longer than I want to admit. I know how easy it is to confuse the comfort of being understood with the discomfort of actually moving forward.

I don’t want that for myself anymore. And I don’t want that for you.

You deserve more than survival mode. You deserve more than validation loops. You deserve the kind of peace that abuse tried to take from you.

And I’ll keep telling my story — but from the other side of it. From the place where the air is lighter, the noise is quieter, and the past no longer decides the rest of my life.

That’s where I’m standing now. And that’s where I’ll be calling you toward.

Because you’ve spent enough nights replaying the same pain in your head. You’ve lost enough days to the heaviness of what they did. You’ve given enough of your life to the version of you who was just trying to survive.

It’s time to stop living like the story ended there. It didn’t.

You’re not here to just exist in the aftermath — you’re here to rebuild something that is so untouchable, so unapologetically yours, that no one will ever be able to take it from you again.

So rise. Even if it’s shaky. Even if it’s slow. Even if you don’t know where you’re headed yet.

Just rise.

I share my story for one reason — so no one else has to feel alone in theirs. If these words found you in a moment where you needed them, I hope they remind you that your pain is valid, your healing matters, and your future is still yours to build.

If you’re ready for more raw truth, survivor insight, and real tools for moving forward, you can connect with me below.

Lindsay-Michele

Trauma-Informed Life Coach | Author of Stripped Down: Piece by F*cking Piece